The other day I loaned $10 to a kid in my neighborhood. He needed to pay the guy who was driving him to work. This kid doesn’t have a car or a high school diploma but what he does have is a girlfriend and newborn baby so I thought I could help him out even though I didn’t have much in the way of cash.
He says, “I’ll pay you back tomorrow,” which surprised me because I didn’t really think he’d pay me back. I was right. Several days passed and no money. But then I started thinking about that saying, “If you loan someone money and never see them again, it was probably worth it.”
I was walking my dogs one night when all of a sudden this kid is running down the street yelling and trying to catch up to me.
“Hey,” he said out of breath and hiking up his pants which are always falling down even when he wears a belt.
“Sorry I never paid you back but I got hit in the head with a hammer.” For someone who never graduated high school I thought this explanation showed extreme creativity. “Oh my God, what happened?”
“Well my boss didn’t want to pay me, maybe he didn’t think I did a good job, but I said, “Hey man I’ve got a baby to take care of and I really need that money.” Then he hit me and I hit him back and then he pulled a hammer and hit me in the head. I called the police but they said I couldn’t press charges because I hit him back.”
To which I replied, “Well yeah, but not with a lethal weapon.” It was at that point I decided the boss had to be middle aged. Who else but a man-o-pausal maniac goes after a young kid with a hammer?
Working in the corporate sector for 20 years, I’ve had my share of performance reviews and I’m happy to say they all went well – exceedingly well compared to this situation. Never once did a superior pull a hammer on me – much less hit me in the head with it.
“Wow,” I said, “that guy has anger issues.”
“Yeah, but I’ll get your money in the next week or so”.
If there are two things this experience taught me it’s that (1) man-o-pause and hand tools don’t mix and (2) I'm never getting my money back.
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