Couch to 5K

In order to stave off the inevitable aging, I joined a Couch to 5K group. If you’re not familiar, here is a link to the website: Cool Running

Last night was the first night and I thought, “This is the closest to the couch end of the program.” So I didn’t feel like trying too hard. Also I was the only one wearing jeans. Everyone else had on some sort of running gear and the super cool Barbie girls had Pebbles waterfall coifs that bounced when they jogged. Barf.

After the warm-up of jumping jacks, squats and lunges I was ready to go home. My legs felt weak and rubbery. But then I was swept up into the event by the large group of people jogging in the dark. At that point I couldn't get out even if I had wanted to. We ran for a minute and then walked, ran then walked. This went on for what seemed like days. There was a lot of huffing and puffing. Somebody’s kid ran by me and I yelled, “Hey little kid slow down. I can’t keep up with you.” But that just made the kid run faster. That little bastard had endless reserves of energy.

There were die-hard runners at the park wearing headlamps so they could see their way. This is when you know they’re serious. Serious runners or possibly spelunkers, miners or Western Taoists looking for enlightenment amongst a mob of out of shape middle age joggers grasping at their lost youth.

Today my leg muscles are sore and my head hurts. Physical fitness is like offering yourself up willingly to be tortured. Ouch. I’m going back tomorrow night. I think I need a bigger couch. Too bad it isn’t couch to Dairy Queen training. That I could do.